Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hotel room ftw
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
