Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
