u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
