Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
