after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
