we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
