I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
