I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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