bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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