I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
