you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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