Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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