A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
