I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
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