Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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