she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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