My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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