He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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