just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
