So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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