hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
