Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
