I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
