The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
