He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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