Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
