i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize