im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
