Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
