If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
