well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
