Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
