the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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