i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
