? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
My vagina is very pro this idea
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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