Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize