Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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