I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
