This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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