I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
