if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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