I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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