This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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