i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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