I smell stomach acid.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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