I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
