I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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