I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
