Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
