News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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