Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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