well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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