Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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