TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You are a genius and a whore.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
