I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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