I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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