WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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