I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize