just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
