I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
