Welp...herpes.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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