Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
